El Proveedor

The Provider. I have seriously been amazed in the timing of God. I am sensitive to these things lately, and I am also sensitive to burdens. Burdens of others, burdens for others, human burdens, and burdens that God has placed on my heart. I’m not a sad person, nor heavily pressed or weighed down. I just can’t help but feel the agony of the reality. It may be because I care.

One burden that I have been carrying lately is the burden of fruit. this burden has been a deceiving one though. I’ve had the burden of seeing the fruit, of being able to control it, and getting the results that should be expected. I am quite mathematically minded when A + B = C, then A + B = C no matter what. That “C” hasn’t been showing up in the form of a “C” or in any form at all in some circumstances.

This past Tuesday, we had our weekly meeting with the pastor. He always has a message for us usually based out of a Pauline letter. Two weeks before, I meant to thank him for his message, this week I couldn’t not thank him because it was meant for me.

Based out of I Corinthians 15:58:

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

What I had been deceived by this burden I soon was shown the truth. The pastor said that if any of us aren’t seeing fruit, it doesn’t mean that we should change what we are doing. We should “stand firm.” Our job is not to harvest, but rather to plant the seed. Others may see the harvest, we may see the harvest, but either way it is not our responsibility. He said to never think that our work is in vain. Don’t let the devil get to us like that.

It’s easy to question this work. Especially when you’re constantly giving and never getting. When no one comes to church, when people tell you yes, but don’t come through (maldito el hombre que fia en los hombres!) when you can’t see change, when all is stagnant.

Yes, it’s easy to question. When there’s so little support coming your way, not because of unwillingness but because of inability to relate. When you’re not in your element. When there are huge distractions. When giving up is so close. When the countdown til the end begins.

It’s easy to question. But I’m not here to do the easy stuff. It’s hard to stand firm, it’s hard to recognize that this is not in vain. Doing the hard stuff is what makes sense here. This isn’t in vain, it’s also not our harvest, it’s His.

I thought last week in our empty church service, “I’m here to worship. And without shame or embarrassment I will worship regardless if anyone is here to worship with me.”

I printed that verse out. It’s hanging in my closet space. I can’t ever forget that I am the planter and nothing else. And I will continue without shame to plant and plant and plant the Word of Christ in others.

You too should consider yourself a planter in God’s eyes. If you’re not planting, with what will the Harvest come?

Conferences

For the past two weekends I have participated in some sort of conference.  One was a conference that I received, and the other was one that I gave.  I would like to share what I was able to learn and how I am being molded constantly into God’s will.

The first conference was a 2 and 1/2 day “seminary” called the “Thompson International Theological Seminary” (I think?) This is the conference in which I came and listened, not participated.  For those of you who don’t know what the Thompson Chain Bible is, it’s a Bible with margins filled with connecting topics called “chains.”It’s used to connect topics for preaching and for overall knowledge of the Bible.  It’s a Thompson Chain Bible because of the margins, and can be used with any version of the Bible itself.

Let me just say that it was great! The conference filled me with knowledge , strength and encouragement.  It was just a nice change to receive and be edified, rather than to just give and give…and give. I do, yes, have an in depth devotional time everyday, but there is just something about receiving knowledge and wisdom from someone else.  I also love learning or being a student and that was a great change from being a teacher and pastor.

A burden on my heart has been my effectiveness while I preach.  I at first would blame it on Spanish, but that in reality wasn’t it.  I didn’t have the correct tools nor knowledge on how to be effective while preaching.  Long story short: I feel much more equipped after this conference. At the end they gifted us a Thompson Chain Bible worth about $60.00.  Cool! A neat ministry based out of the States.

The second conference in which I actually participated was a leadership conference to try to build up leaders within our new church plants.  My compañero and I invited 2 people, and one of them showed (actually we went and got him!)  Each pair had a theme to present, and the pastor presented as well.  We were up last and we talked about the dangers of being a leader. I personally spoke about the dangers that a leader encounters in themselves.

Well, I’m not going to give you the speech, nor what I learned about the actual dangers themselves. But I do want to share how I realized God is changing and molding me. I felt comfortable up there speaking to 20+ people about my topic. I didn’t get jittery, nor get tunnel vision, but rather I felt at home in front of these people. I tripped up a few times, but only because I like to talk fast or not at all haha. A year ago, in Bible class, I was nervous giving a speech in front of all my friends. I hated every second of it. But got has changed my mind and has given me the comfort to lead people.

I will always chooses to lead by actions 100% of the time. But if my actions reflect what I say, then I should recognize that God wants to work through my words as well. I’m not saying that I don’t/won’t get nervous standing in front of a group of people, but rather that this is the first time I have felt comfort in doing it.  It’s not something I did, but rather a simple way, of many, in which God is working inside of me.

What’s a simple way that God is working in you?

Stretch X

While I don’t have a specific subject, update, nor opinion to update you on today, I would like to share the ways I see God stretching me.

So I am a new person, this I can see in myself, but how have I been growing lately, what is God teaching me?  I can answer that.

Doubt.  I read James 1:6 while witnessing to a person:

But when you ask for something, you must have faith and not doubt. Anyone who doubts is like an ocean wave tossed around in a storm.

  In reading it for them, I was actually reading it to myself.  Lately, I’ve noticed the first instinct to doubt in my mind and heart.  For example I read this quote by A.W. Tozer today:

The whole transaction of religious conversion has been made mechanical and spiritless.  Faith may now be exercised without a jar to the moral life and without embarrassment to the Adamic ego.  Christ may be “received” without creating any special love for Him in the soul of the receiver.  The man is “saved,” but he is not hunger nor thirsty after God.  In fact, he is specifically taught to be satisfied and is encouraged to be content with little.

And even though this explains our mission to a “t” and the way we set up for failure, and even though I pumped my fist agreeing with it, doesn’t mean it has to be true.  I first thought that if we do fail, then it can be easily explained by what Tozer says. I realized a couple minutes after reading it that it was a really good way to doubt, to not be different.  If that quote is the mission, why shouldn’t I be different? I read that out of a Christian book, but I still used it to be tossed around like a wave.

Not doubting would be saying, “What Tozer says is the reality, and what I need to do should be something different.”

I catch myself in the act all the time: meeting someone for the first time and not seeing a future, going to a church service expecting nothing etc.

But God says, “No.” he says, “Garren you’re are being tossed around by circumstances, too easily controlled by what you see.  Look at the big picture, brosak.”  And that’s what I’m trying to do.  Change your actions is one thing, but the source of your actions come from your thoughts.  And changing those I am finding out is quite the task.

As far as our work, my limits are being stretched more than ever.  We’re dedicating more time than ever in Salcedo, and seeing less and less fruit that ever.  Last month God was able to touch the hearts of 5 people, new people, in separate cases.  I personally had the privilege of leading 3 of them to Christ, and Geremias the other 2 (which is another way I am being stretched.)  It wasn’t a whole family, but rather 5 new contacts, different people, led to Christ.  But, they don’t come to church.  Talk about wearisome.  It gets to you.

My limits are being stretched in Rinconada as well.  We’re cultivating great hearts, and those hearts are getting into deeper and deeper subjects, and I am to have an answer for these subjects.  Geremias and I disciple people separately, with the goal of a carbon copy of us as individuals.  Deep subjects stretch, yes, but then when your coworker doesn’t agree with what you say makes it even harder, and makes the stretch even tenser.

Oh, and Jayllihuaya.  A family told us, after 3 months of discipleship, that they don’t want us to come anymore.  That they, “Already are Christians and don’t need to learn more about the Bible.” Wow, ok.  And then after that we went and changed one of our contacts’ diaper.  No lies, that is some serious mental stretching right there.

That’s all.  I know there is a ton of you out there that read this, how is God stretching you? Are you growing? If you’re not, I question your position before God.  Take a minute to reflect and listen to this song so appropriate for this post.