So I am a new person, this I can see in myself, but how have I been growing lately, what is God teaching me? I can answer that.
Doubt. I read James 1:6 while witnessing to a person:
But when you ask for something, you must have faith and not doubt. Anyone who doubts is like an ocean wave tossed around in a storm.
In reading it for them, I was actually reading it to myself. Lately, I’ve noticed the first instinct to doubt in my mind and heart. For example I read this quote by A.W. Tozer today:
The whole transaction of religious conversion has been made mechanical and spiritless. Faith may now be exercised without a jar to the moral life and without embarrassment to the Adamic ego. Christ may be “received” without creating any special love for Him in the soul of the receiver. The man is “saved,” but he is not hunger nor thirsty after God. In fact, he is specifically taught to be satisfied and is encouraged to be content with little.
And even though this explains our mission to a “t” and the way we set up for failure, and even though I pumped my fist agreeing with it, doesn’t mean it has to be true. I first thought that if we do fail, then it can be easily explained by what Tozer says. I realized a couple minutes after reading it that it was a really good way to doubt, to not be different. If that quote is the mission, why shouldn’t I be different? I read that out of a Christian book, but I still used it to be tossed around like a wave.
Not doubting would be saying, “What Tozer says is the reality, and what I need to do should be something different.”
I catch myself in the act all the time: meeting someone for the first time and not seeing a future, going to a church service expecting nothing etc.
But God says, “No.” he says, “Garren you’re are being tossed around by circumstances, too easily controlled by what you see. Look at the big picture, brosak.” And that’s what I’m trying to do. Change your actions is one thing, but the source of your actions come from your thoughts. And changing those I am finding out is quite the task.
As far as our work, my limits are being stretched more than ever. We’re dedicating more time than ever in Salcedo, and seeing less and less fruit that ever. Last month God was able to touch the hearts of 5 people, new people, in separate cases. I personally had the privilege of leading 3 of them to Christ, and Geremias the other 2 (which is another way I am being stretched.) It wasn’t a whole family, but rather 5 new contacts, different people, led to Christ. But, they don’t come to church. Talk about wearisome. It gets to you.
My limits are being stretched in Rinconada as well. We’re cultivating great hearts, and those hearts are getting into deeper and deeper subjects, and I am to have an answer for these subjects. Geremias and I disciple people separately, with the goal of a carbon copy of us as individuals. Deep subjects stretch, yes, but then when your coworker doesn’t agree with what you say makes it even harder, and makes the stretch even tenser.
Oh, and Jayllihuaya. A family told us, after 3 months of discipleship, that they don’t want us to come anymore. That they, “Already are Christians and don’t need to learn more about the Bible.” Wow, ok. And then after that we went and changed one of our contacts’ diaper. No lies, that is some serious mental stretching right there.
That’s all. I know there is a ton of you out there that read this, how is God stretching you? Are you growing? If you’re not, I question your position before God. Take a minute to reflect and listen to this song so appropriate for this post.